The Sweetest Dreams
by LastTrojanNight
Summary: Butterfly kisses make imprints on my tangled mind and say to me: I will always be with you. Zack/Cloud Fearless Sap


Happy Birthday Aeriths-Rain!! Thought you should have some Clack yumminess today!XD

Summery: After Advent Children, Cloud is still miserable. Of course he is!

Warning: Soft yaoi of the Zack/Cloud variety.

Disclaimer: Okay, I know this is the oldest joke in the book, but if I owned the game, you know what the hot guys would be doing most of the time? Yup, you guessed it. I don't own.

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The Sweetest Dreams

_I got back to Seventh Heaven more tired then usual. I was distracted with my thoughts so I just said 'Hi' to Tifa and the kids, before going upstairs to shower. My comings and goings are so frequent and random that they blend together in my memory and my inevitable return has its lost importance to me. But now that I think about it, I might have been a little cold._

_When I went into the kitchen I found Tifa, looking like she felt down. She offered me a few weak smiles but even I'm able to tell when she is more quite than usual and seems sad. I didn't know what to say in order to make her feel better, so I opted to go to bed early. It wasn't something I minded doing anyway, I was dead tired._

_It took forever just to get up the stairs, and then even longer to drag the clothes off my body, before I could collapse on the bed. I didn't cover up with the blankets, I hardly moved. I just fell asleep._

-

Aerith's eyes glowed in the bright white light and she smiled contentedly. Cloud couldn't help but think that this was her natural environment. She was so much at home in the Lifestream.

As per usual, there was no scenery here, only white, pure and radiant light. It was so unlike Gaia.

"Cloud! How have you been?" A musical sound carried through the place which had no air. How did that work?

Cloud shrugged noncommittally but answered with an: "Okay".

"What are you doing back here so soon?" The girl tilted her head to the side. "Don't tell me you _still_ feel guilty for something?" She laughed lightly, running slender fingers along Cloud's shoulder.

"No." The other shook his head slowly, trying to articulate what he felt. "I've been doing a lot of thinking…remembering… you and Zack."

"You don't have to worry about us, Cloud." She conjured that beautiful smile again. "This is where we belong now."

The blonde in turn nodded. "But…something has been bothering me…"

Aerith waited while he hesitated; then with a look of questioning, urged him to continue. "What is it Cloud? You can ask me anything."

"This place doesn't seem to fit him." Cloud let out a breath. "…I've never been able to picture him happy here…it's…it's too…white." He shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense. But, it's just too white for him here."

"You mean Zack? He's alright, I promise you! It's not white here. There are all sorts of beautiful colors if you look for them!" Here she beamed. The smile had a color of its own. "There are all sorts of different flowers and so much green grass. He-he, there's actually a lot of pink here too."

Cloud tried deepening his gaze in the toneless, depthless, soundless place. "Where?"

"You'll see it someday, Cloud. Don't worry. You'll see in time, just not yet."

"Do…you think I could talk to Zack for a minute?"

"I think so." She chirped. "But you know I can never keep track of him. …some things never change… The only time I can be sure to find him when you show up." She squinted into the distance looking for something Cloud couldn't see. "I fact, I'm surprised he isn't here yet. Za-ack!" Her voice lilted up and down, as if she were calling a pet.

After getting no response after three more tries Aerith huffed, blowing her bangs around her face. "That man! He drives me crazy!"

Cloud's lips began quirking ever so slightly upward as he watched the quiet girl fuming, with hands on hips.

"I like to see that, Cloud." Aerith spoke warmly.

Cloud hadn't noticed that she was watching and the small embryonic smile faded out under inspection.

"You really want to talk to him, don't you?" The Flower Girl waited for a nod and continued with a twinkle in her eyes. "Hmm, there might be a way for you to see the colors here a little sooner. Maybe you and Zack should go somewhere together to sort things out? You deserve the peace."

"What do you mean 'go somewhere'?"

"He'll show you." She nodded decisively. "You can spend tonight with him." She smiled, but stopped just as suddenly and added solemnly. "But Cloud…you have to wake up in the morning. You have things to do back home and well, you can't live in two worlds at once; this is already quite a lot. I'll wake you Cloud…if I have to."

Cloud's forehead wrinkled at her tone. "Alright…"

"Oh, there he is!" Aerith perked up again.

The swordsman scanned the white and frowned when there was still nothing for him to see.

"Can't you hear him? He's around here somewhere."

"No. Don't hear a thing…"

"Zack!" Aerith tapped her booted foot. "Zack, if I have to call you one more--!"

"Okay, okay, I'm right--!" Zack appeared, seemingly from nowhere, fading out of the white. "Cloud? What the hell are you doing back so soon?!"

"Zack! Get over here and be polite." The girl in pink reprimanded. "Cloud's staying here for the night. I want you to take he somewhere you both know, so he can relax and you two can sort things out. I'll just make myself scarce."

"And what do you want me to _do_ with him, Aerith?" Zack's gave the girl his wide eyed innocent expression.

The Flower Child would have none of it, giving them both a little shove. "Behave yourself Zack and get going!"

"Yes Ma'am!" Zack saluted the petit girl.

"I still don't understand. I--?" Cloud's protest was cut short by the ex-Solder.

"Just close your eyes, Spiky."

Cloud stared at the black haired man. He hadn't heard that name in so long… Something about the sound of it made him want to comply. But he couldn't just close his eyes like that, without knowing why. "Wha--?"

"Just close them."

Cloud's eyelids seemed to slip down of there own accord as he easily obeyed. The cold brightness faded into soft light, filtered through the thin membrane of skin.

"Let's see. Where should we go?" He heard Zack muse. "Ah, I've got it!"

Cloud's senses felt the change. His ears began to sense the twittering of birds, the static sound of air moving through trees and the slush of a large body of water. His sense of smell was assaulted by the near overpowering sent of grass and trees, a clean breeze and even a few flowers. His skin awakened to the feeling of air moving over it and shaking his hair. His shut eyes even sensed the difference as less light penetrated to his pupils.

With so much information of process, Cloud was content to stand still and absorb it. But that quickly changed.

"Okay, you can open them now."

Cloud's lashes flickered a second before unveiling his eyes.

So many colors. The sky faded through twelve shades of blue and blended into the vibrantly green tree line. Gold from the sun glinted in the rough surface of a calm lake, whose small ripples licked a shore of deep brown earth on this side and farther away, a thousand shades of grey pebbles. A few of the trees where colored light pink and red in the first spring blossoms.

It was more vibrate then any landscape painting Cloud had ever seen. It was more colorful than any reality he had ever seen, more vivid and twenty times more beautiful.

Like the focal point of a painting, the center of this world came to a sharp point at the man wearing a peaceful smile, in front of him.

Zack grinned when Cloud's eyes finally settled on him. "Remember this place? I had a boring mission out here in the middle of nowhere and I made up an excuse for Seph to let me take you with...all for my own wicked purposes of course."

Cloud allowed himself a small smile as well and shook his head. "I can't understand how he believed you."

"He didn't." Zack's grin widened.

"You mean…?" The blonde's Mako-blue eyes widened in understanding as he trailed off.

"Yup, you got it! We had an unspoken agreement; He would let me do certain things, or I would call him every hour so he couldn't get his work done! And he hated that…"

"Yeah…he did."

Zack cocked his head to the side suddenly, looking behind Cloud. Following his gaze, the blonde saw nestled in the overgrown grass a large wicker basket. Cloud barely caught the sent of ham as he watched Zack walk over to investigate.

"I didn't order this…" The Soldier opened the basket to find a large picnic lunch carefully packed inside, with a checkered red and white blanket and pretty blue patterned corelle dishes.

"Ah, this reeks of a flower girl… Aerith!" Zack yelled, seemingly to nowhere. "I thought you said something about making yourself scarce?!"

Cloud looked around as a light giggle danced through the trees. "I'm going, I'm going! I just thought you boys could use something to eat." The voice came incredibly innocent and sweet.

"Little voyeur." Zack accused.

"I am not, Zack! And don't you do anything nasty to Cloud either, he came here to rest!"

"I'm counting to three." Zack pointed his finger toward the woods. Cloud tried to find the girl in pink but there was absolutely nothing. "One…"

"Okay, okay…" The girl's voice faded out in one last giggle.

Once he seemed satisfied that the invisible spirit was gone, Zack turned back to the picnic and smiled. "Well, as long as it's here!" He finished the statement by plopping down on the grass and digging around, disheveling the contents. "Come on, Spiky, have a seat." He patted the ground next to him, watching the stiff precision of the other's movements as Cloud complied.

"Let's see…do you like ham or turkey?" The darker man held the two options in each hand.

"Um…" Cloud considered for a brief second and took the turkey.

"Good." Zack agreed with his choice. "She only made two ham and they're both _mine_."

Zack rummaged farther to find a double layered fudge and ice cream cake, which had been stowed at the bottom to keep cool. "You can't say she doesn't have good ideas sometimes." Zack smiled fondly. He was going to let the blanket and plates go to complete waste.

"Though the obsession with tomatoes, I will never understand." He flung the unsightly reddish-pink fruit away into the grass.

They ate in companionable quiet for the most part, with Zack making random comments periodically and Cloud responding with slight words or gestures. The Soldier never seemed to expect more, comfortable carrying the conversation, watching Cloud's expressions as he listened.

The blonde's face was a method of communication in itself; responding to Zack's words with tiny changes in the width of his eyes, the shape of his mouth and the incline of his neck, which only the very observant would see. Zack could read them; he liked being _able_ to read them.

"Hmm, I always liked it here." Zack sighed contentedly after finishing off both of _his_ ham sandwiches.

Cloud nodded in agreement and then frowned, furrowing his brows and scanning the scenery; the trees, the rippling water, the overactive twittering birds. "But…it wasn't like this. For one thing, it wasn't spring at the time, it was late fall."

"This is the way I remember it." Zack shrugged with a wistful smile. "Everything was just coming to life. It was fresh and clean and vibrant, so colorful, beautiful. This is the way it _really_ _was_."

Cloud shook his head. "No, I remember…"

"Remember how soft the grass was?" Zack flopped down on his back, sprawling out on the overgrown green, interrupting the blonde. "Come here." He beckoned lazily.

The swordsman eased himself onto the grass, shoulders still held rigidly in place, strong and stable, ready to bear the weight of a weapon.

Zack rolled onto his side, closer to Cloud, so that he could observe his face and slowly rub his arms or trace a pattern along his set jaw with a gloved finger tip.

"See?" The Soldier questioned, propping his head on his hand.

The grass _was_ soft, too soft. Softer than it should be, softer than he knew it had been. But still…Cloud remembered this. He remembered the ground being this inviting as it conformed to his back, or he conformed to it. He remembered the way this bright yellow light dazzled his eye, partially shaded by the trees. He remembered the peace he felt here, looking up onto the glowing unchanged face that hovered above him, still shining from the reflected light of the sun in the same way, just the same as before.

And what had he done then? He reached up and touched the face lightly, reverently, shyly, barely making contact. This was the same moment, there was no difference. This was where he had been in his mind, without the slightest change.

"Uh-huh. I remember."

Here he was at fifteen; the world was surprising and confusing and frightening. Warmth was spreading through him and his body was relaxing from Zack's magic touch. Here he was. He focused on the way the skin over Zack's angular cheekbones slid beneath his fingertips, flawless and firm. Here he was, and every other place seemed hazy. He could remember some other life he had lived, but it was so distant, it wasn't right here under his fingertips. And somehow the fact that it was not Zack's skin, made it seem unimportant, insignificant.

Maybe it had all been an idea. Some wild fantasy of his adolescent mind: that place where he was struggling just to keep himself live, where everything he loved kept dying. It was really too morbid to be real. Obviously the side effect of his young and overactive brain, or maybe one of those Alternate Universes, that could have happened but never did. He knew it was not as real as this, it didn't _feel_ like it was as real as this. Nothing was. This was where he was. Here.

Cloud's shoulders molded to the accepting ground, his back lost its steel brace and he wondered what it was that he had just been worrying about. He couldn't quite remember. It was wonderful, the miracles Zack could work on a person's memory; it just sort of, went away.

The butterfly kisses being pressed into his skin on his cheek and lips and neck were pressed into his mind, overriding all other thoughts. What morbid thoughts he had been having. But thankfully, they were all going away, back to the place of all other ideas that are never going to be.

He didn't even stop to worry about how strange it seemed that out of the monotone of his life, he was now being seduced by this gorgeous, laughing, angel creature. It didn't make any sense and there was no reason. But that was just the way it was. He didn't need to think about it; with Zack, things just were.

"See Cloud? This is _exactly_ the way it was."

And Zack was right. This was _exactly_ the way it was. Exactly the way it _was_. It was. It was never going to be that way again, right?

That morbid other reality came seeping back into Cloud's mind. Slowing and reluctantly, but surely.

That time was never going to return; nothing was ever going to be perfect again. That other, hideous world was all that truly _was_. And the man's beautiful fantasy came shattering to face the truth, over and over again.

Eyes changed shape that had widened and relaxed a moment ago, features closed off. The fighter, who had slipped away for a second to be replaced by a boy, returned; preparing again to brace the sword on which the whole world depended.

Zack watched him, sadder and more wistful than usual. He kissed the lips which were rougher and firmer than just a second ago and sighed. "You still don't get it do you. _It was_. That's all that matters." He continued tracing Cloud's jaw and neck, this time without a glove.

"It was…" The swordsman repeated, his face still set and expressionless, not finding any special new meaning in the words. They were still sad.

"Uh-oh." Zack's eyes widened suddenly, his mouth was opened it a surprised gasp.

"Eh?" Cloud wondered.

"The ice cream!" Zack crawled over quickly on his hands and knees, to search the basket and found their ice cream cake in a sad state; half melted. The Soldier looked at it sorrowfully, lifting it carefully from its place as the melting cake dripped over the edge of the dish and fell onto clean blades of grass.

"Too bad." Cloud remarked.

"Hmm." Zack stuck a finger in the mixture and tasted it. "Mm, this isn't half bad." He retrieved two spoons from Aerith's well prepared basket and walking on his knees, settled himself back down next to Cloud with his legs crossed.

Cloud sat up and took the offered spoon, attempting to comfortably lean over enough to reach the dish that Zack held warily over the grass. He thought of the plates, but they didn't have anything to scoop it with anyway. The 'cake' had turned into something like a smoothie of ice cream and swirled fudge and when he had tasted it, he discover that as Zack had said; it wasn't bad at all.

"Heh, you've got chocolate on your face." Zack pointed out.

After they had eaten all of the remaining cool parts of the cake, they gave up on the watery goop that was left and Zack shoved the dishes out of the way.

Cloud licked his bottom lip, trying to rid his face of the sticky residue. But of course failing, having no idea where the chocolate was located and not being able to reach it with his tongue anyway.

Zack watched with an amused smile. "It's too bad Aerith ordered me not to molest you at all." He remarked.

"Hmm?" Cloud looked up. He slowly developed a smirk of his own and without warning lunged for the Soldier, fisting his hand in the front of Zack's shirt and forcing him down on his back. "Funny…she didn't tell me the same thing."

Zack looked nothing but surprised. "Well…you've changed a lot…" He paused, gaining a wicked smile. "Hmm, I think I like."

"You better." Cloud leaned down and kissed him. It was a familiar kiss, active yet relaxed, slow and still passionate, but above all delicious. Its taste was mouthwatering. The swordsman couldn't tell who was on top; the kiss was still the same as those he always shared with Zack. Eventually, he pulled up a few inches.

"Got that chocolate for you." Zack informed him, his lips slightly upturned and glistening from the kiss.

Cloud made and small 'heh' sound and took in the picture of Zack; his jet hair was mixing with the too-green grass, his tanned skin was glowing in the too-soft light, his eyes were a deeper color than the too-blue sky, glowing brighter.

Cloud held a hand on his chest, applying a small amount of force just because he could. Never would he have imagined that he could be as strong as Zack, it was strange and somehow amusing. Maybe this would have happened if Zack had lived; if he had only lived.

The warrior slumped and took his hand off the Soldier's chest. He settled down beside him now, tucking his head under Zack's chin and resting against his shoulder. This was still the most comfortable; when the older man wrapped an arm around him pulled him into place so they fit just right, like opposite puzzle pieces.

It was so comforting that he closed his eyes in contentment and remembered the night they had spent this way, never in his life had anything been so peaceful. It never would again, he was sure.

He opened them to find that it had gotten dark out. Night had not come naturally, slowly. His eyelids blinked for a few short seconds, closing on the sunlight and opening with the stars shining clear, glittering. Too lovely.

He took in the sudden night; it was beautiful and cool, the crickets were chirping loudly. He could not be surprised; this was strange, but things were supposed to be strange here in the Lifestream. Cloud certified where he was; no, in a dream.

"Cloud…" Zack began running his bare fingers through the blonde's hair. "Tell me why you're here."

"Why…" Cloud let his eyes roam the area, though he wouldn't move his head from the other's shoulder. "I'm…always here." He heard Zack's head shift in the grass and the Soldier have him an odd look which he could feel if not see.

"It seems like I'm here." He tried to explain. "There's the time where I'm here with you, then there are blank spots where there was nothing. Then there's the…real world. Neither seems any more real then the other… And it seems as though, I'm both here and there… My head's too messed up." He shrugged and closed his eyes, hoping to brush off the topic, even though this is probably why he was here.

"You don't have to be here Cloud." Zack continued his soothing ministrations to his hair. "You don't have to loose this to move on. In fact you _have_ to go off and do your thing, you know? The past is always going to be here. You can't change it, even if you want to. I'm always going to be here Cloud. Right here." He tapped the blonde's temple and smiled. "You can live, and I'll still be with you."

"But…I'd miss you." Cloud hesitated.

Zack chest vibrated in a deep but quiet laugh. "Ah, Cloud…" He ran a hand down the blonde's shoulder moving to his back. "…go to sleep."

"I am asleep."

"Mm-hmm, go to sleep." Zack rubbed circles in his back, making it impossible for the other to do anything but exactly that. "I'm always going to be with you."

He kissed the blonde's forehead as Cloud eyes began to slip shut and he promised, "I'll always be with you."

-

_I fell asleep then. And when I woke I was laying stiffly on an uncomfortable mattress. I could still feel the warm kiss pressed to my forehead, even as the heat faded from under my fingertips and by hand reappeared on the dead white sheet, moved from where it had rested on a lover's stomach. I was instantly cold._

_I understood now, what Zack was telling me, what Aerith told me, what every one said. I knew what the words meant. I knew I was supposed to remember the past, and cherish it. I was supposed to draw strength from it and live on after waking from this last dream._

_I knew what they were all showing me. I knew they were right, I knew they were honest. My loved ones would always be with me. They would always be close to me and help me from the other side of a dream. I could understand what they were telling me now: to remember the dream, to remember their love, to remember their life, and live._

_But the truth is…I may never wake up._

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S'okey-dokey Thee End! I hope a few people liked it, 'specially Aerith;) Reviews are love.


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